Filed under: Uncategorized
a thought that has been surfacing again and again.
i’m struggling with a certain lifestyle choice right now. every time i revert back to it, my faith stumbles like crazy. i can’t pray, i can’t read scripture..because i feel absolutely guilty and i don’t feel worthy enough. but then i am left to wonder how i felt before. did i feel like i could act on my faith before this sin because i thought i was worthy and holy enough?
thank God for reminding me of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
i am reminded that i am never, never worthy enough. i can never be without sin, even when it feels like everything is right. but that’s where the beauty of Jesus Christ comes in.. only He is able to rescue us from our sinfulness, when He bore our sins on that cross. All so that we can fellowship and know God.
but for now, please pray that i can value Christ over anything this world offers..
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update: i’m officially a case western alumni 
maaaaaan, it feels gooooood! i haven’t gone through college withdrawal. yet 
i’ve always told people i think i’m borderline introvert/extrovert. i know that i definitely get energized when i’m around people, and there are times when i absolutely cannot keep a single thought inside my head. but its times like now, where i’ve just been home and by myself when i realize how much i sometimes enjoy being on my own. so home has been very refreshing in that sense.
but i’m excited to go back to cleveland! which will be in the next few days, where i’ll be resisting having any type of life and fun as i study for the DAT… but please pray that i will study for the sake of God’s kingdom, that i will keep my eyes on Jesus during times of stress, and that my motivation to study will be none other than to glorify the Lord
totally unrelated:
for people who are all about technology, i found a cool website that has kept me in check with praying: echo prayer
cool story about how God works through technology--so on this site you can request texts or emails to be sent randomly about praying. i was journaling about how i think God has been reminding me to wait on Him in terms of the salvation of my family. seconds later, i got an email. topic? pray for family.
Filed under: Uncategorized
just finished my last WEEK of school! and next Monday will be the last DAY of school.
WOOHOO!
what am i doing next year? NO IDEA. i have no idea where i’ll be or what i’ll be doing. but for some reason (perhaps its my tendency to be overly optimistic)–i CAN’T WAIT to see what’s next. even if it’s studying again for the DATs, and even if it’s going home for next year. I’m ready.
i know that there will be some things from college that i’ll NEVER experience again and i know i’ll miss koinonia and college so so much, but i’m SO excited to see what God has in store for me in the real world. i feel like i’m in such need for change, and i’m ready to move on. in the meantime, i am trying to savor the last moments of Case (via pulling many all nighters just to go eat breakfast in the morning heeehee)
quotes from this month..
“human indifference is the greatest threat to the world’s oceans.” –from the movie Oceans, disneynature
“no matter where i am, healing is in Your hands.” –healing is in your hands, passion
Filed under: thoughts
when Jesus washed my sins away
thank you Lord for the opportunity this weekend to remind us of who we are, and who You are.
thank you for reminding me of how i fail You so constantly. and that no matter how hard i try, or what i do–my selfish sinful heart will always stray from You. I will always continue to reject You and deny knowing You, i will always fall asleep when You need me to pray, i will always watch from a distance as You die on that cross alone and abandoned by ones who praised You just days before. i will always be confused when i see that empty tomb, and refuse to have faith unless I see You face to face.
So thank You Lord..for showing us your neverending grace and beautiful mercy. That even when all we offer You is our sin, You reached down for us. And because You are the living God..you are still working today. You are still bringing darkness into light. You still offer restoration, forgiveness, ..life. And in our world so dark and distraught, You bring us ultimate hope. Gosh, what would it mean for us to truly believe this?!
Just realized i switched pronouns in the middle. Whoooops. Anyways, just overdue thoughts and responses to this past weekend, which was definitely quite a blessing.
Filed under: Uncategorized
check it out!
Come&Live! is a 501(c)3 non-profit community dedicated to proclaiming the good news of Jesus.
By joining hands with artists {musicianaries}, we provide them with guidance, direction and accountability to model a life of genuine faith. Our focus is in promoting the only true enduring treasure – loving others and living like JESUS. We choose to share music and profit as a humble example of radical generosity. We live simply to give generously, encouraging others to do the same. Our prayer is that God would use us to Give. Love. Share. and Revive.
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i really miss blogging!
it’s been one busy semester 
Filed under: Uncategorized
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. -2 Peter 1:5-7
make. every. effort.
and God’s good promise.. “For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:8
can’t do it without you God! may the only thing i work really really hard at this semester be 2 Peter 1:5-8.
change me God, not my circumstances.
Filed under: thoughts
These past few weeks, God has continued to push me to become bold.
and so just a thought i’ve been having.
to be completely bold in Christ, is to be completely humble as Christ was. humility produces boldness.
humble boldness..
-in always speaking the truth of the gospel without hesistance and without the pride, self-righteousness, and arrogance towards others.
-in having full confidence in the gospel, and all hope in Christ–without any of that in ourselves. knowing that only He grant us boldness in the first place, solely because of His grace.
-putting God before ourselves..in boldly fighting for the gospel even if it leads us to hard places.
your will be done..not mine
Filed under: thoughts
happy new year, people!
REALIZATION: i’m not very good at blogging!
but i was reminded of why i wanted to start blogging a few days ago.. since it was a new years decision last year. and hopefully that will motivate me to blog more.
thoughts, thoughts..
this break was good. i often feel very bipolar about home, either very excited or dreading it. it wasn’t any different this time, but i was blessed with deep conversations, fun times, and great family bonding.
God is moving in my family. I know it. Of course, I can say, He’s always been moving, but I never felt that way. My little faith never saw it or believed it. And still now, I am wondering when He will take off those blinders! But, I’m starting to see differently. Thanks to Urbana and some good QTs, God opened my eyes to understand the gospel more. I’ve had many “realizations”. And with realizations, comes action. Usually.
The theme for Urbana was “He dwelled among us”..and that Christ is the model for missions. Being Christ in our neighborhoods..dwelling amongst the broken, being like them, depending on them, living with them, and then transforming them from the inside out.
May that be my model for witnessing to my family and to Case.
And may this year be filled with boldness in Christ, taking risks for Him, and seeing the truth of Christ revealed~!
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‘They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” -Acts 16:31
I believe your promise God!!!
Filed under: music
“Alive” by North Point Community Church
Rarely do I find albums where I like a majority of the songs, but this is one of them!
The songs are really Christ-centered and preeeettttyyyyyyyyyyy :]
I especially like Hands of the Healer, No One Higher, Glory to God Forever, and Forever Changed!
Can’t find it on youtube….
Preview it…here
i like to think that every semester has an overarching theme or idea. i know, kind of weird. hahah. two semesters ago, change and growth. one semester ago, discipline. this semester…..
trials and relationships.
relationships.
my eyes have been opened to how important they are. and what a healthy one is too. one of the greatest blessings this semester..finally experiencing relationships founded in Christ. you guys it’s taken so long! i think i realized i have major issues believing that people care? anyway.. slowly but surely making steps
and i have definitely been convicted of treating my relationships with my brothers and sisters in Christ as “just friends”. God has given these friends to me to glorify HIM. we are all here to glorify Him together–to encourage each other to persevere and trust in the Lord so that we can live a life all for God and be sent out as imitators of Christ to the communities around us…
trials.
i hope i’m not being overdramatic when i say i feel like i’m going through a period of trials. it has not been an easy semester. there were periods of so much frustration. SO much anger. towards friends, towards family, towards God. it’s still hard, and my faith seems so small sometimes. i think now i’m trying to just trust and obey. if this is what is glorifying Him the most right now.. I don’t ask to understand it, or to fix it, but just a more faithful heart.
but all i can say is hallelujah for having a God who DEMANDS us to GIVE Him our BURDENS. Although I deserve all His wrath and all the suffering from my own sinfulness..my fears, my selfishness, my conceitedness, my anger, my desire for control..He wants us to GIVE them to HIM and just be joyful in Him. He loves us just that much! That’s just how God is..He loves us so much that He took upon our sins to the cross so that we may know who HE is.. may we never stop being in AWE of how gracious and merciful He is.
can’t believe the semester is coming to an end…(and that survived last week hehe). i’m now 7 pages from freedom! then home! then urbana!
happy holidays people..!
Filed under: thoughts
like pinocchio!
forreal though.
i feel like i’m lying to people when i’m not 100% real to them.
do you ever feel that its easy to be a certain part of yourself to some people, and express a different part of yourself to someone else? at least that’s how i am. why is that? for instance, i can only open up about God with the Christian ones. and maybe the non-Christians won’t understand what i mean, but if i’m not telling them what i truly believe is happening in my life, then i’m holding back what i truly think. and ultimately, i’m lying to them, right? grr.
my hatred for lying is exponentially growing. now i wholeheartedly believe that lies is so much more harmful than the truth. like my mom used to say, once you lie you never trust people and people never trust you. so true. she doesn’t believe me when i say i’ve stopped lying. classic example. and i know this whole “being real” thing may not break trust. but it won’t build it either!
so, in short, i wanna be real. 100%.
real with my friends [all of them].
real with my family.
real on this blog.
even if it hurts.
i’m gonna try. only with the grace of God, of course.
